Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Sorry, I’m just not feeling it today.

I’m still in a bit of a funk over the whole anniversary thing. I spent some time with my family last night but noticed I tried to steer all conversation as far away from the actual reason we were all together and the man we were remembering. In some (okay, many) ways I’m still no better at acknowledging or dealing with the loss of my dad than I was the afternoon I sat sobbing in a hospital conference room upon hearing he had just died. I don’t know if I’m avoiding it or if this is just the natural progression of emotions after a death but I do know it blows.

Usually DJing would cheer me up but I’ve elected to take this evening off¹ to spend with Photogal since that helps me feel safer. It also allows me to occupy myself with something other than thoughts of events that are now officially over a year old.

Okay, enough of me being a sad sack. It’s off to work I go. Though, strangely, I totally don’t want to work today. I don’t want to lay around the house either. What I really want to do is spend a couple of hours at the gym, thoroughly wearing myself out but at the same time feeling the blood course trough my veins and blast through my muscles all the while reminding myself that I, at least, am still wholly alive.

P.S. The picture in this post is my attempt to at least brighten up things around here a tad. Hope it worked.

¹That shouldn’t stop you from going out to innjoy and shaking it though, since Rudy is still spinning with his girlfriend Kelly and she tends to pull out some really groovy selections that would usually pass under the usual radar on Tuesdays. It’ll be loads of fun, trust me.

No comments: