Monday, June 07, 2004

Whereupon we reflect and admire what a resolute and patient soul Tankboy truly is.

Y’know, I am a goddamn saint. Okay, maybe not a saint, but I do think I’m a pretty decent guy who puts up with a lot of external flak primarily because, well, I can. I like to think that I have the capability to step back and view “the big picture” from time to time and in doing so I can often detect just at what point I myself have passed from reasonable human being into irrational asshole. It happens.

What this also means is that I can see when other folks make the same transition – though since I’m a polite fellow let’s term another’s transition as the passage from reasonable individual to unreasonable individual.

When this transition takes place in anyone the possibility of carrying out a meaningful discourse is rendered completely null and it’s time for all parties involved to take a time out, retreat to their respective corners, and take a breather in hopes that reason decides to take roost in everyone’s actions once again. The unfortunate thing is that the absence of reason often makes the above scenario impossible since folks are acting, by definition irrationally.

Here’s where my frustration comes in.

I, often in what is known as a heated debate or a knock-down drag-out verbal fracas, will from time to time snap to my senses and see what’s happening and realize that the conversation needs to stop NOW. The conversation might be able to continue later but for now it must end before the irrational turns into the recklessly harmful. Unfortunately other folks never see this and it frustrates me when something so obvious and plain is ignored and people’s feelings get hurt because of it.

Here’s an example. I’ve known these two sisters for quite a number of years and was caught in the middle of an argument they were having a few months ago. It was like watching two rams butt heads, only in this case each ram was running into a mirror image of itself since – due to the spiraling and insular nature of each’s “point” – each only really paying attention to their own volleys. I pointed out that they may as well stop talking since each was being equally stubborn and no headway was ever going to be made, at least given the current climate in which they were holding their discussions. I also pointed out this had always been the way arguments went between them and they really had to find an alternate rout e to resolution. They actually paused and one of the sisters marveled at how she had never seen that particular dynamic playing out between the two of them. That argument ended. I wish I could say all their arguments ended but…

I dunno why I’m thinking of this. Probably because I can be the argumentative type and I get unreasonably upset when I carefully choose my words and their meanings in an argument and the other party completely misses or misinterprets my point. I’m upset at the person for not “getting me” and I’m upset at myself for failing to communicate.

Again, I’m not sure why I’m, thinking about this. I didn’t argue with anyone this morning. I did do a test run from the house I’m moving to next month and realized I’m adding up to half an hour to my commute and was none too pleased…maybe that’s why I’m a bummer today.

I think I’ll work on that review of Rachael’s disc that comes out tomorrow so I can get it up on DoneWaiting today.

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